Learn How to Manage Your Anger

How many times do you feel angry but don’t know why?  How often do you become aggressive and say things you don’t really mean, and then feel upset and guilty afterwards?  Similar events happen to most of us, at some time, and we fail to understand the reasons.

Very often, the answer has to do with excessive pressure that has caused you stress, which has turned to anger as you realise that you appear to have lost control of the situation. Then you take that anger and frustration out on others around you.  Sometimes that may be your family, or if at work, your colleagues

Low self-esteem, in addition to stress, can also be at the heart of an angry outburst.  You may not identify this factor and it is only when you start to suffer the consequences of that low self-worth that you may start take a close look at the root cause within yourself.

Becoming angry is just one way that low self-esteem manifests itself in your behaviour. “Why me? It’s not fair!” is a common angry outburst for those suffering from low self-esteem and a feeling of often being the victim in certain circumstances.

When we become angry, we become consumed with perceived injustice, and then we lose our focus on what really matters.  At work, we may feel as if we are being picked-upon, and in our personal relationships we may see fault in others where none really exist. It is as if we are seeing life through a red haze – a haze that is, in fact, anger.

Continue reading

Listen

Anger Management: Does Modern Life Make you Angry?

Traffic jams, supermarket queues, computer crashes or a crowded metro are all stressors that can upset us and make us angry. We become irritable with our colleagues and shout at our family and loved ones. We become obsessed with trivia and suddenly that which should be the lowest of our priorities, develops into the most important problem in our life.

This is because our expectations are such that everybody will be on time and everything will always work immediately as we expect it to.

The doctor’s appointment was at 9 am so why are we still waiting at 9.30 and consequently being late for work? Our computer unexpectedly crashed again although it was only ‘fixed’ yesterday and now that vital report will be late and we have to apologise to the General Manager!

These incidents happen around us all the time and because our lives are so finely tuned, it only takes one small thing to go wrong and the rest of our day can be ruined and our complete agenda disrupted. Then, all we really want to do is to go back to bed and start again!

When something goes wrong, we find ourselves trying to apportion blame onto others which may, or may not, rebound against us. Our emotions start to get the better of us and we lose control; our anger rises to the surface and the first person we come into contact with experiences our rage and disappointment. It is not a pleasant experience for either ourselves or our colleagues.

A London Daily Telegraph report recently cited a survey which found that 90% of people get upset by dealing with call centres while 50% become so angry when their computers crash, and they lose their work, that they physically attack them.

We all can get angry and there is nothing wrong with the occasional loss of temper. In fact, it is probably better to show our emotions rather than to keep them bottled-up inside. Continue reading

Listen