Learn How to Manage Your Anger

How many times do you feel angry but don’t know why?  How often do you become aggressive and say things you don’t really mean, and then feel upset and guilty afterwards?  Similar events happen to most of us, at some time, and we fail to understand the reasons.

Very often, the answer has to do with excessive pressure that has caused you stress, which has turned to anger as you realise that you appear to have lost control of the situation. Then you take that anger and frustration out on others around you.  Sometimes that may be your family, or if at work, your colleagues

Low self-esteem, in addition to stress, can also be at the heart of an angry outburst.  You may not identify this factor and it is only when you start to suffer the consequences of that low self-worth that you may start take a close look at the root cause within yourself.

Becoming angry is just one way that low self-esteem manifests itself in your behaviour. “Why me? It’s not fair!” is a common angry outburst for those suffering from low self-esteem and a feeling of often being the victim in certain circumstances.

When we become angry, we become consumed with perceived injustice, and then we lose our focus on what really matters.  At work, we may feel as if we are being picked-upon, and in our personal relationships we may see fault in others where none really exist. It is as if we are seeing life through a red haze – a haze that is, in fact, anger.

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Taking Gratitude into 2015

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4 Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

Time flies by so fast that it is difficult to realise that we are about to say ‘Goodbye!’ to 2014 and ‘Hello!’ to the New Year.  You probably have many things to be thankful for over the last twelve months but, like the rest of us, you have also had your challenges.

Maybe your ‘life script’ did not turn out as you would have liked – but then life often throws up unexpected challenges to be overcome, such as health issues or relationship problems.  That is the order of our lives and with a new year ahead of us, it is worth remembering to be grateful for what we actually do have – our family, our friends, our work and all those special moments in our lives.

Of course, it is very easy to feel sorry for ourselves when things go wrong.  Maybe you didn’t get that promotion you wanted or you lost a personal relationship.  Your health may have deteriorated and such issues are often tough calls to handle particularly if they come together.

But that doesn’t really help us to move on.  In order to do that, we need to take full responsibility for what is in, and what is out, of our control.  There is no point in wasting time, energy or even money on that over which you have no control.  However, there is a point in accepting a particular situation as it stands and seeing how you can amend your life script to take account of it.  Your life-script may not be within your own control, but the attitude that you exhibit in your approach to situations that you encounter, is within your determination and can positively influence outcomes in your favour. Continue reading

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Anger Management: Does Modern Life Make you Angry?

Traffic jams, supermarket queues, computer crashes or a crowded metro are all stressors that can upset us and make us angry. We become irritable with our colleagues and shout at our family and loved ones. We become obsessed with trivia and suddenly that which should be the lowest of our priorities, develops into the most important problem in our life.

This is because our expectations are such that everybody will be on time and everything will always work immediately as we expect it to.

The doctor’s appointment was at 9 am so why are we still waiting at 9.30 and consequently being late for work? Our computer unexpectedly crashed again although it was only ‘fixed’ yesterday and now that vital report will be late and we have to apologise to the General Manager!

These incidents happen around us all the time and because our lives are so finely tuned, it only takes one small thing to go wrong and the rest of our day can be ruined and our complete agenda disrupted. Then, all we really want to do is to go back to bed and start again!

When something goes wrong, we find ourselves trying to apportion blame onto others which may, or may not, rebound against us. Our emotions start to get the better of us and we lose control; our anger rises to the surface and the first person we come into contact with experiences our rage and disappointment. It is not a pleasant experience for either ourselves or our colleagues.

A London Daily Telegraph report recently cited a survey which found that 90% of people get upset by dealing with call centres while 50% become so angry when their computers crash, and they lose their work, that they physically attack them.

We all can get angry and there is nothing wrong with the occasional loss of temper. In fact, it is probably better to show our emotions rather than to keep them bottled-up inside. Continue reading

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Conflict at Work Causes Expensive Disruption

Conflict at home can cause upset and misery.  Conflict at work can cause expensive disruption and these hidden costs are underestimated in many organisations.

If two people are not working well together, then this will almost certainly have a ‘knock-on’ effect upon the whole department and, in turn, the entire company.  Sometimes conflict is just ignored ‘we will just let them get over it’… ‘what has it got to do with us, time will sort it out’.  Well, time may just NOT just sort it out and situations can easily escalate.  What starts out as an aggravation and annoyance can turn into a full blown grievance all too quickly and start to cost the organisation dear, in terms of time and money.

The aggrieved individual concerned may feel:

• Upset and angry
• Feel they have a  valid case
• Ignored
• Not taken seriously Continue reading

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How to Deal With Stress: To Err is Human, to Forgive Divine…

We do not always behave or conduct ourselves as we should and
there are certain times when we wish we had not spoken, or acted, as we
did.   Sometimes, we have to accept that our relationship with someone has been broken. However, later there often comes a time when we might wish to try to make amends.  But what happens when the other person says it is too late or that they are no longer interested? Continue reading

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Learn How to Manage Your Anger

How many times do you feel angry but don’t know why?  How often do
you become aggressive and say things you don’t really mean, and then feel upset and guilty afterwards?  Similar events happen to most of us, at some time, and we fail to understand the reasons.

Very often, the answer has to do with excessive pressure that has caused you stress, which has turned to anger as you realise that you appear to have lost control of the situation. Then you take that anger and frustration out on others around you.  Sometimes that may be your family, or if at
work, your colleagues

Low self-esteem, in addition to stress, can also be at the heart of an angry outburst.  You may not identify this factor and it is only when you start to suffer the consequences of that low self-worth that you may start take a close look at the root cause within yourself. Continue reading

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Stressed? When a Headache Becomes a Heart Attack!

'Show Stress Who's Boss!' provides tools and strategies that will show you how to deawl with stress.
Discover 4 Easy Ways to Beat Stress Today!

New Book Out This Week:  Buy it here:  http://www.showstresswhosboss.co.uk

Two weeks ago, it was the UK’s World Mental Health Day and despite the considerable publicity that is given to mental heath on this day, and also throughout the year, the topic is still, too often, a taboo subject.    We know from medical professionals that those suffering from anxiety and other mental health issues need to seek help as soon as possible before permanent damage is allowed to occur and that any delay in diagnosis and treatment, due to social stigma regarding the subject, needs to be avoided.

So this being Mental Health Day, I thought it would be an ideal opportunity to look at some basic myths and misconceptions about one cause of mental health problems, stress. Continue reading

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Work Stress Expert, Carole Spiers, says that procrastination kills opportunity!

Plus 4 Easy Steps to Beat Your Stress Today!
Buy Carole’s New Book Now!

It was reported this week that an Englishman whose ambition was to climb Mount Kilimanjiro, the highest point in Africa,  before he turned 70, achieved his goal, only to die shortly after sending his wife a text from the summit.    Alistair Cook, suffered a
heart attack as he descended and his final message to his wife read ‘Reached the summit at 09.50, feel exhausted but so happy’.

This story begs the questions:  Is it ever too late to realise our dreams? Is there any time limit? Do we have to wait for retirement when we may be less fit than we are now, or when we have lost drive and motivation as our energy levels eventually fall?

Your dream could be scuba diving with dolphins, studying for an MBA from MIT, opening your own business, building your own house, buying a Harley bike, going on safari, mentoring others to pass on your skills to the next generation – or maybe just to lie on the beach in Florida on the Gulf of Mexico.  The reality is, however, that many of us never see that dolphin, because we just let the days tick by and we lose our focus and direction.  And then, for many reasons, it is often too late.  The time for personal action is now. Today is real. Tomorrow is never here. Continue reading

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Work stress expert asks, ‘How annoying are you?’

 

4 Easy Steps to Beat Your Stres

The Essential Guide to Managing Stress

I was sitting in my hairdresser in London the other day at 8 am, which is my normal weekly routine. Sitting in the peace and quiet is something that I really enjoy and look forward to.  However, on this occasion, one of the other clients, had a voice that was so loud and intrusive that the tranquillity of the salon was broken and I was very pleased when she left and fortunately, she only had short hair.

This incident made me wonder how many of us are actually aware that many of our frequent habits may actually annoy others either at home or at work.  At the office, behaviour such as shouting down the telephone, never thinking of making coffee or tea for a colleague or bringing  in smelly food to eat at one’s desk are all stated to be some of the more irritating habits, according to a new survey from Samsung Electronics.  These complaints were followed by slow computer systems, printer jams and unnecessary emails which were also a daily misery for office workers, accordingly to the survey of 1,500 adults.

Why is it, I wonder, that many of us are actually unaware that we are being annoying and the resultant stress that we sometimes cause to others?  Was that woman in the hairdressing salon really not aware that everyone had to listen to her conversation with the stylist, and were very anxious for her to leave so that peace and quiet could
be restored? Continue reading

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Reducing Stress Behind the Wheel…

If you have ever experienced ‘road-rage’, been stuck in a traffic-jam or distracted from driving by a demanding child in the back seat, then you will know that driving can be a stressful experience.

If you have ever been a car passenger with a driver who is lost, oblivious to speed restrictions, driving carelessly or talking into a cell phone, then you will know that being a passenger can be a stressful experience too.

So why is it that driving can be the source of so much stress?

SAFE Driving

The human body uses an automatic response mechanism to cope with danger.  Known as the ‘fight or flight’ or the stress response, this is a natural mental and body reaction that occurs when we feel threatened.

Unfortunately, driving provides many of these challenges – the sharp sound of a stone hitting the windscreen, the reduced vision by rain on a wet day, the cold sweat as we ‘hit the brake’ for an emergency stop.  All these provide opportunities for the stress response to be triggered.

So what can you do about it?

One way to reduce the occurrence of these stress reactions is to be a SAFE driver.  A SAFE driver is SURE, ACCEPTING, FOCUSED AND EGO-FREE.

Be SURE

As a SAFE driver, you will be sure of your vehicle, your journey and yourself.

Be SURE of your vehicle:  Most of the time, the vehicle you drive will be one with which you care familiar but inevitably, there will be time when you will need to drive a car that may not be your own, such as a hire car.  Time taken to familiarise yourself with a new vehicle is essential to help you keep your stress levels low.

Be SURE of your journey:  Know in advance the route to your destination and how long it will take. Be prepared in case of an accident on the road.  Always have water and a snack in the car and keep a first-aid kit for use in emergencies or in the case of breakdown.

Being SURE of Yourself

If you are sure of your vehicle and your journey plan, you will be more sure of yourself.  Check that you are:

Fully insured, not over-tired or taking medication that might cause drowsiness. Don’t drive if you are in an angry mood.

Be ACCEPTING

There are many ‘stressors’ that can cause frustration to drivers during a car journey e.g. road and weather conditions, other road users or accidents.

When you accept that there will be situations over which you have no control, you will find that driving will become less stressful.  Accepting becomes easier when you are skilled enough to use your experience to anticipate the reaction of other drivers.  If you can adjust your driving accordingly, you will be less stressed.

Be FOCUSED

For many people, a vehicle becomes an extension of their ‘personal space’ – a temporary home in which they can easily lose momentary concentration and make an error of judgement.  It is vital to stay alert and focused all the time and to avoid distractions and take regular breaks on a long journey.

Be EGO-FREE

A vehicle can make a statement about you and your lifestyle and this is harmless until you start to drive a car in such a manner as to deliberately enhance that image.  Horns are blasted and lights flashed as you try to overtake at speed – and behind such behaviour lies the ego that can make you into a dangerous driver.  Dangerous driving is a major stress for both you and others.  So next time you drive, leave your ego at home.

Putting SAFE into Practice

Although there are many situations on the road over which you will have no control, you do have full control over your own thoughts and responses.  Your responses are a direct result of your thoughts and your thoughts are your own.  You don’t have to become aggressive – you can choose an alternative response.  Be understanding of other driver’s mistakes and also acknowledge your own.  It will keep stress levels down and it will help you to be SAFE.

Because when you are SAFE – you are also stress-free!

Happy motoring!

Key Points

  • Driving can be stressful experience
  • Accept conditions over which you have no control
  • Leave your ego at home

[Reprinted with the kind permission of Gulf News]

Book Keynote Motivational Speaker, Entrepreneur, BBC guest-broadcaster and best-selling Author, Carole Spiers in person for your next conference for charismatic, high-impact work related stress and effective communications presentations.

Stressed? See Carole live http://bit.ly/TUWbX and find out the latest ideas about workplace stress, stress management training. Get instant access to stress reduction products http://bit.ly/FjL5L and stress management training aimed to reduce stress and delivered to blue-chip clients from IBM to Abu Dhabi Marine Operating Company in UK, Dubai, UAE and worldwide at www.carolespiersgroup.co.uk

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1st Global Woman Summit Conference, Washington DC, 8 – 11th October 2011.

It is anticipated that Michelle Obama will be opening this prestigious, 3-day educational programme that will unite and honour leading women in international fields. Meet and listen to world leaders, diplomats and experts plus your opportunity to network with eminent women from diverse occupations. Leave having gained greater insight and increased knowledge of women who regularly break the glass ceiling. Don’t miss this unique event. Book your place in our audience now! www.globalwomansummit.org

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