Letting go of a Friendship

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4 Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

Research shows that relationships are central to our health and wellbeing and can be one of the most rewarding aspects of our life.   There can be nothing more important than having someone to whom you can speak, and to know that they care for your welfare.  Friendships can permeate your life and have an impact on your career, marriage, family, children and health – they can enrich your existence every day.

However, for a friendship to work, there has be a balance between the two parties – not one person having their needs met whilst others are overlooked.

Of course, not all relationships prove to be long-lasting.  Unfortunately, there are instances when a friendship can turn sour and instead of it bringing happiness into your life, it deteriorates and starts to do more harm than good. Continue reading

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Are you going through a Mid-life Crisis?

 

work stress, keynote speaker, how to deal with stress, anxiety, stress symptoms, signs and symptoms of stress, stress free, Show Stress Who's Boss!, carole spiers, stress management, stress & anxiety, symptoms of stress, stress management techniques, stress-free, stress symptoms, de stress, wellbeing, mental health

4 Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

Last week, it was reported in the international media that Google’s Main Board Finance Director, 52 year old, CFO Patrick Pichette had announced that he will be giving up his multi-million dollar job in California to spend more time with his family and maybe to go back-packing around the world.

So was this a mid-life-crisis action taken on the spur of the moment or a carefully considered decision made after examining all the priorities, in conjunction with his immediate family and friends?  Was it, possibly, a moment when he saw his world before his eyes and thought of his ‘bucket list’ with all those things not yet experienced, or completed, and then thought that he might be going to run out of time with all those hopes and dreams unfulfilled?

When does it start?

Midlife crisis can happen when someone suddenly thinks they have reached a point halfway through their life and for many, it can come as a complete surprise as they had thought that life was just beginning. They can start to develop anxieties that appear to indicate that everything is going backwards – or at least not moving forwards – both in their career and personal life, and can experience mood-swings or possibly bouts of self-doubt and even depression.

This crisis usually occurs, if at all, between the ages of 35 and 50, and can sometimes last for maybe five or even ten years. The term mid-life crisis was first coined in 1965 where early analysis suggested that it could happen anywhere between the ages of 40 and 60, but it is now shown to start much earlier.

Let us look at some of the signs that could indicate whether or not you could be heading for, or currently experiencing, your own mid-life crisis. Continue reading

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Does being a Perfectionist Cause you Stress?

 

work stress, keynote speaker, how to deal with stress, anxiety, stress symptoms, signs and symptoms of stress, stress free, Show Stress Who's Boss!, carole spiers, stress management, stress & anxiety, symptoms of stress, stress management techniques, stress-free, stress symptoms, de stress, wellbeing, mental health

4 Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

“That’s perfect Anita– well done.  Have a gold star!”  Remember those nostalgic days when you were in school and you were told to chase those straight A’s?  How quickly a perfectionist learns to live by the words ‘I’m so pleased, this term I was top of my class’ and to enjoy the thrill of impressing others – and themselves – at the same time.  A perfectionist would cry if they only managed a B+ or ended up only in second place.  Some children hated school, but the chances are that the perfectionist child loved it as his, or her, success was quantifiable by the results of exams, assignments and  teacher feedback —particularly when they made the grade.  The maxim of ‘work hard and succeed’ worked like a dream for them.

However, those gold stars can sometimes cause a lifetime of frustration and personal dissatisfaction.  In the adult world, success is measured differently and, not being structured in the same way as in school, there may well be times when you will miss the ‘good old school days’ where an A+ was all that to which you aspired.

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De-stress: Industry’s role in helping the 60+

Find out how to deal with stress

4 Proven Steps to Beat Your Stress!

One of my clients is a former WW2 soldier, now 90 years old.  He talks about the Normandy landings in France during the Second World War and can still hear the explosions and feel the fear of that day, 70 years ago.  However, the battle that he faces now is not post-traumatic stress but loneliness.

Loneliness is not the same as being alone.  Most of us will choose to be alone, at times.  But loneliness is being alone not by choice but by circumstance and that feeling of isolation can be devastating.

Older people, who may have suffered a bereavement are more vulnerable to feeling isolated, particularly for the first months or even years after the event – and their loss can have an adverse effect on both mental and physical health. Continue reading

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Business Tips: Do You Have the Ability to ‘Let Go’

4 Easy Steps to Beat Your Stres

The Essential Guide to Managing Stress

Before I lose the interest of my male readers, I should warn you I am going to talk about women’s handbags and there is a good business reason for me to do so.  So please bear with me!

I read in the press the other day that the high-end, handbag retailer, Mulberry Ltd, has been forced to slash prices on its luxury handbags after admitting that its customers cannot afford them.  The UK-based company has announced it is adjusting its strategy.  As well as reducing the price of its cheapest bags from about $900 by around 15%, Mulberry said it would also be offering more products within this range.  Mulberry’s interim chairman has quickly insisted that the quality of the handbags would not be affected by the price cuts and I believe him because if this were to be the case, Mulberry would cheapen its brand and lose its hard-won customer base.

The reason why I was interested to read this [was not because I am a Mulberry bag owner, which I am] but because Mulberry’s business strategy has been revisited in order to adapt to changed market conditions. Continue reading

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Sticking to the basic tenets of corporate values

work stress, keynote speaker, how to deal with stress, anxiety, stress symptoms, signs and symptoms of stress, stress free, Show Stress Who's Boss!, carole spiers, stress management, stress & anxiety, symptoms of stress, stress management techniques, stress-free, stress symptoms, de stress, wellbeing, mental health

4 Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

During our childhood, we are usually brought up with social and cultural values that our parents hold dear and which are passed on to us.

These become the foundation stones for our future life and we tend to mix with those who share such values. Frequently, they determine who we choose to marry. However, sometimes our standards change as we grow older and we can find that there appears an incompatibility in our marital relationship.

Whereas, we were travelling together, suddenly we seem to be travelling apart. Sometimes our paths diverge towards different destinations.

I have been a marriage counsellor for many years and I have seen that with counselling support, differences can be solved, problems negotiated and destinations made unanimous — but only in some cases. At other times, it is with sadness and regret that some breakdowns are irretrievable and each party has to start afresh on an individual journey and with, may be, a new learning that comes from a greater sensitivity about others and about themselves.

This is in a domestic scenario, but let’s look at what happens in a workplace context? Continue reading

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‘Have you got a minute?’ syndrome

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4 Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

This is the moment you dread.  It is 3 p.m. and you have to finish a report before you leave the office.  Although it is a tight schedule, you know you can just about manage it.  But then, your schedule gets binned as your boss arrives next to your desk and says ‘Gavin, have you got a minute?’  You look at your screen.  You look at him.  He is waiting for a reply and what he is really asking is, ‘Are you doing something that is more important than me’.  You look up and say, ‘Yes, of course’ as he hands you a file for comment by tomorrow morning – which means  yet another rushed meal, a late night and too little sleep. Continue reading

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Stressed Out and Firefighting – again!

4 Easy Steps to Beat Your Stres

The Essential Guide to Managing Stress

As a manager, do you regard yourself as acting reactively or proactively, the majority of the time?  Do you pride yourself on your ‘firefighting skills’ or your planning expertise?

Reactive management refers to situations for which you cannot, (or fail to), plan and which then require you to enter into reactive mode in order to deal with them.  This usually means that situations arise that you failed to anticipate and which then need ‘firefighting’ to resolve the issues that have arisen.  Of course, you may well have become extremely good at doing this.  However, have you have ever thought how efficient you really are at such times?  You may have convinced yourself that you work better under stress.  You may need the ‘adrenaline rush’ to get you moving and you love working late into the early hours of the morning in order to meet a deadline. However, have you considered the knock-on effect to other people around you who will be also be affected? Continue reading

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Business Relationships

work stress, keynote speaker, how to deal with stress, anxiety, stress symptoms, signs and symptoms of stress, stress free, Show Stress Who's Boss!, carole spiers, stress management, stress & anxiety, symptoms of stress, stress management techniques, stress-free, stress symptoms, de stress, wellbeing, mental health

4 Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

Is there someone in your office with whom you find it challenging to deal? Is your life at work being harmed by a difficult relationship? That difficulty could be with a colleague, a business partner, a manager, director, customer or supplier. You may be spending time at night worrying about it; thinking about it constantly and/or discussing it with colleagues, husband or wife.

It is often said that we cannot choose our family and therefore need to learn how to manage our relationships with them – and the same applies to those at work. If a particular individual is not to our personal liking – for any reason – then because we do not have the luxury of walking away, we need to find a basis upon which to communicate. We all have a job to do and we need to be able to communicate well with everyone in our team. That still applies even if you are a sole practitioner, as you will need to communicate politely with clients/ customers, who you may not like, for otherwise you will have no business! Continue reading

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Retirement and the ‘Knowledge Drain’

4 Easy Steps to Beat Your Stress

The Essential Guide to Managing Stress

Many of you may look forward to your retirement with great enthusiasm. You can start to play golf, join a bridge group, travel the world or just stay in bed each morning until 10 am! For those of you who can afford to do so, then your dream may well become reality. However, for others, retirement may prove more of a challenge as there is more time to fill each day.

For maybe 40 years, you have been used to the structure of the workplace, and its comradeship. It is where you have spent the best part of each day, for decades. Now, suddenly, you have lost not only your job status and salary but also your focus, raison d’etre and the fellowship of your colleagues at work.

People start to view you in a different way and probably you define yourself differently because your changed status means that your place in society has now altered.

As for the company or organisation, whenever a long-serving, experienced employee retires, it means skills and expertise that have been acquired over many years are allowed to ‘walk out of the door’. Sadly, many employers will just let this happen and the ‘knowledge drain’ becomes commonplace. Instead, what could occur is that companies learn to handle the retirement of skilled staff using a process that facilitates a transfer of knowledge from ‘old’ to ‘young’ in order not to lose skills and knowledge that have been built-up over very many years. Continue reading

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