Does being a Perfectionist Cause you Stress?

 

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4 Easy Ways to Deal with Stress

“That’s perfect Anita– well done.  Have a gold star!”  Remember those nostalgic days when you were in school and you were told to chase those straight A’s?  How quickly a perfectionist learns to live by the words ‘I’m so pleased, this term I was top of my class’ and to enjoy the thrill of impressing others – and themselves – at the same time.  A perfectionist would cry if they only managed a B+ or ended up only in second place.  Some children hated school, but the chances are that the perfectionist child loved it as his, or her, success was quantifiable by the results of exams, assignments and  teacher feedback —particularly when they made the grade.  The maxim of ‘work hard and succeed’ worked like a dream for them.

However, those gold stars can sometimes cause a lifetime of frustration and personal dissatisfaction.  In the adult world, success is measured differently and, not being structured in the same way as in school, there may well be times when you will miss the ‘good old school days’ where an A+ was all that to which you aspired.

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International Women’s Day: Celebrating Women’s Power

Today, is International Women’s Day, and in looking at their website, it is interesting to see so many international events taking place, ranging from large, national conferences to small informal ‘get-togethers’.  However, the message is the same which in the words of Jude Kelly, Artistic Director is: “To celebrate the formidable power of women to make change happen, to remind us of our history, to draw attention to injustice and to enjoy each other’s company as we set out to achieve a fairer world”.

Tales from South Africa

This made me think about all the special women that I have met over the past year.  I visit South Africa at least once a year and there I work with women who are budding entrepreneurs.  These are women who have not usually received a formal education, but still want to create and grow their own businesses so that they can send their children to school, so that they can be independent and not have to sit on street corners, begging for money.  I have met women who are so completely focused in their endeavours that it puts many of us to shame.  They have a strength and determination of which many of us can only dream.  They have
no cars or large houses but their township homes in which I stay are spotlessly clean and tidy and I can only stand back in amazement at their resilience and fortitude.  Many of these women are single and don’t have the support of a man in the home and yet they survive in bringing up their children.  However, what they do lack are the marketing skills to promote their small businesses and this is what I offer to them through my 1:1 coaching programmes.  Some of the skills are specific such as helping them to write their own business cards and business plans, but other skills are those that come from encouragement and motivation. Continue reading

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Be Stress Free and Enjoy the Community Spirit

Here in London, we have just experienced our first fall of snow this winter.  It arrived with a vengeance, severely affecting airports and roads.  The day
after, I went outside into the front garden to clear the path from snow and
within half an hour, I had spoken to many of my neighbours all clearing the
snow, like me, many of whom I rarely spoke to from one month to the next.  There we were, all sharing in a joint activity, offering cups of tea and coffee to each other.  Overnight, we had become a community again because we had a common interest.  None of us could get our cars out the driveway, and we were fighting against the weather to try to clear the driveways before the ice arrived overnight. Continue reading

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Are You Stressed? Redundancy Can Strike Anyone

My client, Jeremy Saunders is married and works – or rather did work – as a Design Director, in London, for a large firm of manufacturers of sports goods.   He has worked for the company for over 10 years but, last week, was told that he is redundant and was
no longer required.

He had been half expecting to hear some bad news because a new CEO had been recently been recruited who had threatened to cut staff numbers.  He had talked about his fears with his wife but they decided to enjoy their Xmas and then face the situation in the New Year.  It wasn’t definite and there was a good chance of him keeping his job. Continue reading

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Stressed? 20 Most Frequently Asked Questions About Stress in 2011

Find out how to deal with stress

4 Proven Steps to Beat Your Stress!

By Carole Spiers

As a weekly columnist for Gulf News, I have addressed many issues relating to workplace stress.  Many readers have written to me to ask me various questions regarding the best way to manage stress, so I thought it would be a good idea to share some of these with you.

Q:  What is stress?

A:  Stress is the adverse reaction that people have to excess pressure or other types of demands placed on them.  It arises when they perceive that they are unable to cope with those demands

Q:  Is stress good for me?

A:  No.  It is often mistakenly thought that stress is good for people, when in fact, long-term stress is invariably harmful.  A certain amount of pressure can indeed motivate and can therefore be useful, but stress is never so. Continue reading

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Stressed? When a Headache Becomes a Heart Attack!

'Show Stress Who's Boss!' provides tools and strategies that will show you how to deawl with stress.
Discover 4 Easy Ways to Beat Stress Today!

New Book Out This Week:  Buy it here:  http://www.showstresswhosboss.co.uk

Two weeks ago, it was the UK’s World Mental Health Day and despite the considerable publicity that is given to mental heath on this day, and also throughout the year, the topic is still, too often, a taboo subject.    We know from medical professionals that those suffering from anxiety and other mental health issues need to seek help as soon as possible before permanent damage is allowed to occur and that any delay in diagnosis and treatment, due to social stigma regarding the subject, needs to be avoided.

So this being Mental Health Day, I thought it would be an ideal opportunity to look at some basic myths and misconceptions about one cause of mental health problems, stress. Continue reading

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Stressed – Because Your Desk is Untidy?

The Essential Guide for Managing Stress

I walked into a client’s office, last week, and she immediately apologised for the mess of her desk.  Papers strewn everywhere, with overflowing box files lying around the floor. Her noticeboard was covered with scraps of paper on top of one another, and post-it
notes stuck onto her monitor screen.

I said there was to need to apologise but I did wonder to myself how she could find anything when her desk was in such disorder, and how efficient was she at running her department. Afterwards, when we sat down for our meeting, it transpired that her life was, in fact, in turmoil, and the state of her desk was a reflection of her personal life.

Of course,  I am not saying that an untidy desk is always indicative of an untidy mind  as I have other clients who also work in what I regard as a ‘mess’ but they know where is
every piece of paper at any one time. Different people work differently. Continue reading

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Relieve Stress in Your Retirement

Buy Carole Spiers new book ‘Show Stress Who’s Boss”.
Preferential Rate, Prior to Launch £10.00 [List price £15.00]  + P & P
Secure this offer & register your interest  to Anita: info@carolespiersgroup.co.uk

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I appreciate that for many readers the thought of retirement may seem a very long way into the future.  However, it comes to us alleventually and for that new chapter in one’s life to be successful, it requires careful planning for the transition from work to leisure.

Contrary to what you may imagine, retirement can be one of the busiest and most exciting times of your life – a period to look forward to.  It means having time to breathe and doing what you want every day; it’s about starting something new; giving back to the community using the skills and knowledge you have gained over the years and
generally adjusting the pace of your life to a less structured day with fewer
commitments and deadlines.

Years ago, the traditional idea of retirement invoked images of elderly people with
walking sticks being helped across the road!  But today, retirement is nothing like that! Retirement can mean learning a new skill, writing a book, starting a new business, doing voluntary work, travelling, or mentoring young people.  An exciting new world that is full of endless possibilities. Continue reading

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Stress Reduction: Beating the Holiday Blues

With the summer in Europe nearly over as we approach September,  it is time to think about getting ourselves back into our working routine of facing the early morning traffic jams and the school run.

Life takes on a different, more relaxed pace during the summer with the stress of having to watch the clock 24/7, being put on hold for a while.    However, when we now return to the office, we need to change gear and make the necessary adjustments to work mode.  Emails, work deadlines, meetings, and efficiency once again become the order of the day.

But the summer holiday can also be used as a time of reflection, both for yourself and for all those members of your team.  It could be the right time to make some really important changes in how you deal with work and family responsibilities – in other words, your work-life balance. Continue reading

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Stressed? When Nothing Seems to Go Right

We all have days when nothing seems to go right and when we are prone to make silly mistakes. However, when bad days turn into bad weeks, it is time to take stock and to reflect on why things are going wrong, seemingly everyday.

Prolonged pressure at work, or at home, can easily turn to stress and ultimately turn any potentially good day into a bad one. Continue reading

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