Be Stress Free and Enjoy the Community Spirit

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Here in London, we have just experienced our first fall of snow this winter.  It arrived with a vengeance, severely affecting airports and roads.  The day
after, I went outside into the front garden to clear the path from snow and
within half an hour, I had spoken to many of my neighbours all clearing the
snow, like me, many of whom I rarely spoke to from one month to the next.  There we were, all sharing in a joint activity, offering cups of tea and coffee to each other.  Overnight, we had become a community again because we had a common interest.  None of us could get our cars out the driveway, and we were fighting against the weather to try to clear the driveways before the ice arrived overnight. Continue reading →

Be Stress Free: Think before you press ‘send’!

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Last week’s column about cyber-bullying in Gulf News brought a good deal of correspondence from my readers.

One such was from Sonja, a Senior Manager in a pharmaceutical
company, a position that had taken her over 10 years to achieve.  She wrote to me to say that, at her appraisal meeting, she was told that her formal and blunt emailing style needed to be more ‘friendly’.

She argued that the quantity of email that she had to deal with each day, meant that each one had to be dealt with quickly, and with no real time for pleasantries.

Which leaves the question: could formal and blunt email messages be taken by the recipient as a form of cyber bullying? The answer is, ‘No!’. Cyber-bullying is writing with the intent to humiliate an individual by publishing adverse comment about him or her. Continue reading →

How to Deal with Bullying in the Workplace and Cyber Bullying

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Last week, I delivered a presentation on workplace bullying to a group of volunteers in a large retail company, in the UK.  This group have volunteered to provide a listening and sign posting service for anyone within their organisation who has been subject to workplace bullying, harassment or discrimination.  They have all been professionally trained to give guidance to any individual who feels they are at risk and their role is to
be proactive and to provide an informal route for an employee if they experience such a problem.

Bullying issues are, unfortunately, experienced around the world but not every organisation will make a commitment to provide this support to their staff and the commitment and motivation from this team is to be greatly admired.

Bullying in the Workplace

You may wonder why there is a need for such a team of people.  Well, with many managers under pressure to achieve targets and deadline, it is inevitable that the high levels of stress they have to endure is going to affect them.  Some managers under stress, may demonstrate bullying behaviour without being consciously aware of it, but that does not make it any less acceptable.

Bullying, of course, is perceived differently by everyone.  What is acceptable for one person is unacceptable to another.  What makes one person laugh, makes another
person cry.  That which may work in one culture, does not work in another.

There are many signs of bullying behaviour that are highly visible, for instance: the person who is publically humiliated by their manager or the individual who wrongly takes the credit for someone else’s work. However, there is another more insidious form of bullying behaviour that needs to be addressed: that credit for someone is so-called ‘cyber bullying’. Continue reading →

Are You Stressed? Redundancy Can Strike Anyone

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My client, Jeremy Saunders is married and works – or rather did work – as a Design Director, in London, for a large firm of manufacturers of sports goods.   He has worked for the company for over 10 years but, last week, was told that he is redundant and was
no longer required.

He had been half expecting to hear some bad news because a new CEO had been recently been recruited who had threatened to cut staff numbers.  He had talked about his fears with his wife but they decided to enjoy their Xmas and then face the situation in the New Year.  It wasn’t definite and there was a good chance of him keeping his job. Continue reading →

Stressed? 20 Most Frequently Asked Questions About Stress in 2011

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Find out how to deal with stress

4 Proven Steps to Beat Your Stress!

By Carole Spiers

As a weekly columnist for Gulf News, I have addressed many issues relating to workplace stress.  Many readers have written to me to ask me various questions regarding the best way to manage stress, so I thought it would be a good idea to share some of these with you.

Q:  What is stress?

A:  Stress is the adverse reaction that people have to excess pressure or other types of demands placed on them.  It arises when they perceive that they are unable to cope with those demands

Q:  Is stress good for me?

A:  No.  It is often mistakenly thought that stress is good for people, when in fact, long-term stress is invariably harmful.  A certain amount of pressure can indeed motivate and can therefore be useful, but stress is never so. Continue reading →

Thinking of Others Who May be Stressed

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This is just that time of the year when we may be spending time with friends and family. But we should also give a thought to those who may be separated from their loved ones or who may have maybe lost someone close during the past year.

For those, this may be a painful reminder of the moments that were shared. When we lose someone, we do our best to get on with our lives and, in essence, we usually do. But then, there are times such as Christmas, that are poignant reminders of the gap that person has left in our lives. The times when you used to pick up the phone just to say ‘hello’. The friend that you would call as you left a business meeting that had gone well and you want to share that with them, or the mother or father who was always there for you, during both the good and the bad times.

When we lose someone dear to us, those times are often difficult to get through. Although our friends may be there immediately afterwards, they soon go back into their own lives once again. And we are eventually left alone with our memories.

Anniversaries
And, of course, when the first birthday comes, the wedding anniversary, the next Ramadan, Diwali or Christmas, the memories become more vivid as they come flooding back. Tears may not be as uncontrollable as in the early days, but nevertheless, they may still be there – yet more manageable. This being a natural part of the bereavement process.

However, if you can find someone with whom you can just talk to and share those moments, then you are fortunate but sometimes you need to go and seek them for yourself. Your friends and relatives cannot read your thoughts, so you need to tell them how you are feeling. We know that life goes on but there are also times when we need to pause and reflect on that which we have been fortunate to have achieved and those we have loved, and still love. And so this time of the year is a time for thinking not only of ourselves but also of others. Those who are, for whatever reason, maybe not included in our family celebration. It could be a next door neighbour who lives alone who you could invite in for a cup of coffee and a chat. The shopkeeper who lost his wife at the beginning of the year and wants to work over festive seasons to take his mind off of his loss – for him, a smile and a kind word could make all the difference to his day. The child who has experienced the trauma of parents divorcing during the year – this season will be different and sad for them as they come to terms with their family breakdown, and they may well need your help though these difficult times. For those children, their world will have broken and they cannot understand why that should have happened to them, or if they were responsible.

These are the children who need help and support. People need people. We all want to feel needed and loved. This time of the year should be one of inclusion and community and if you don’t belong to a community, then take it upon yourself to find out where you can give of your time where your support will be valued and where you can find new friends.

We have to take it upon ourselves to be proactive and even though we may not feel like it, that first step is the one that will open doors and lead to many others along the way.

Helping Each Other
We can all help each other if we want to and to empathise with others outside our own family is the one way to ensure that this festive season will be one of inclusion, caring and giving.
In my mind, that is what this time of year should be all about so that you, and everyone around you, can look forward to the next one with a positive attitude and mindset to go forward and make both your world and their world a happier and better place.

KEY POINTS
This season is also a time for reflection
People need people
Be an active part of the community

Reprinted with the kind permission of Gulf News.

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Time and Management: Tackle enemies of efficiency

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Find out how to deal with stress
4 Proven Steps to Beat Your Stress!

Buy Carole’s New Book here: http://www.showstresswhosboss.co.uk

“Are you good at multi-tasking?”, was the question raised at a business seminar last week. It probably will not surprise you to learn that most of the women in the audience raised their hands, whilst most of the men present, seemed to be unsure as to what the term actually meant!

As we discussed the issue, and even though many of us can, and do, handle more than one task contemporaneously – it soon became apparent from our conversation that the skill of multi-tasking may not be as advantageous as we might think. In fact, when we concentrate on one task at a time, then we tend to be more efficient, more focused and benefit from no interruptions.

Time and Management

Disruptions and disturbance are the enemies of efficiency. Sitting quietly writing when my concentration is broken by my iPhone suddenly ringing or by the beep that signifies the receipt of a text message, both disrupt my train of thought and my focus.  So does the person who interrupts a private conversation to give an unwanted opinion or enters my personal working space, uninvited. Continue reading →

Stressed? When a Headache Becomes a Heart Attack!

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'Show Stress Who's Boss!' provides tools and strategies that will show you how to deawl with stress.
Discover 4 Easy Ways to Beat Stress Today!

New Book Out This Week:  Buy it here:  http://www.showstresswhosboss.co.uk

Two weeks ago, it was the UK’s World Mental Health Day and despite the considerable publicity that is given to mental heath on this day, and also throughout the year, the topic is still, too often, a taboo subject.    We know from medical professionals that those suffering from anxiety and other mental health issues need to seek help as soon as possible before permanent damage is allowed to occur and that any delay in diagnosis and treatment, due to social stigma regarding the subject, needs to be avoided.

So this being Mental Health Day, I thought it would be an ideal opportunity to look at some basic myths and misconceptions about one cause of mental health problems, stress. Continue reading →

Work Stress Expert, Carole Spiers, says that procrastination kills opportunity!

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Plus 4 Easy Steps to Beat Your Stress Today!
Buy Carole’s New Book Now!
www.showstresswhosboss.co.uk

It was reported this week that an Englishman whose ambition was to climb Mount Kilimanjiro, the highest point in Africa,  before he turned 70, achieved his goal, only to die shortly after sending his wife a text from the summit.    Alistair Cook, suffered a
heart attack as he descended and his final message to his wife read ‘Reached the summit at 09.50, feel exhausted but so happy’.

This story begs the questions:  Is it ever too late to realise our dreams? Is there any time limit? Do we have to wait for retirement when we may be less fit than we are now, or when we have lost drive and motivation as our energy levels eventually fall?

Your dream could be scuba diving with dolphins, studying for an MBA from MIT, opening your own business, building your own house, buying a Harley bike, going on safari, mentoring others to pass on your skills to the next generation – or maybe just to lie on the beach in Florida on the Gulf of Mexico.  The reality is, however, that many of us never see that dolphin, because we just let the days tick by and we lose our focus and direction.  And then, for many reasons, it is often too late.  The time for personal action is now. Today is real. Tomorrow is never here. Continue reading →

Work stress expert asks, ‘How annoying are you?’

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4 Easy Steps to Beat Your Stres

The Essential Guide to Managing Stress

I was sitting in my hairdresser in London the other day at 8 am, which is my normal weekly routine. Sitting in the peace and quiet is something that I really enjoy and look forward to.  However, on this occasion, one of the other clients, had a voice that was so loud and intrusive that the tranquillity of the salon was broken and I was very pleased when she left and fortunately, she only had short hair.

This incident made me wonder how many of us are actually aware that many of our frequent habits may actually annoy others either at home or at work.  At the office, behaviour such as shouting down the telephone, never thinking of making coffee or tea for a colleague or bringing  in smelly food to eat at one’s desk are all stated to be some of the more irritating habits, according to a new survey from Samsung Electronics.  These complaints were followed by slow computer systems, printer jams and unnecessary emails which were also a daily misery for office workers, accordingly to the survey of 1,500 adults.

Why is it, I wonder, that many of us are actually unaware that we are being annoying and the resultant stress that we sometimes cause to others?  Was that woman in the hairdressing salon really not aware that everyone had to listen to her conversation with the stylist, and were very anxious for her to leave so that peace and quiet could
be restored? Continue reading →