Be Stress Free: Self Mastery Can Improve Your Life

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In the words of Leonard da Vinci “One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself”.

Self mastery is the ability to recognize, understand and manage the different aspects of your personality, and in so doing, to create a higher quality of life experience. It is the ability to make the most out of your physical, mental and spiritual health and below are some areas of your life which will help you on your path towards developing effective self-mastery.

Vision: All self-mastery starts with you: the roadmap that you will create to take you to where you want to be. You need to be self-disciplined and committed to your vision and to always keep it in the forefront of your mind. Write your aims down, and share them with others, so that you will be accountable to yourself. Continue reading →

Author of Show Stress Who’s Boss! says, ‘Distracted Driving Can Get You Killed!’

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It is so easy to do.  You are driving along quite happily, the road is clear, the sun is shining and you are almost on auto-pilot.  You think of a message to send to someone and so you pick up your phone and start texting.  You know that you are taking your eye off the road and you know you shouldn’t be texting but there is not much traffic around, so why not?

Sound familiar?  Can you really say that you have never done this before?  Maybe you are one of the few who can put their hands on their heart and say ‘never’ but there are many others who would quietly put up their hands and admit to this one. Continue reading →

Stress at Work and Best Practice in Stress Management

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There are many myths and misconceptions about stress, so I thought that I would write a summary for you.

Q:  Is stress is good for me?     A:  No! Pressure is good for you but stress is not.

Q: What is the difference between pressure and stress?   A: Pressure motivates and is within your control and you can usually manage it.  Stress is the adverse reaction people have to excessive pressure or other types of demands placed upon them.

Q:  What causes stress?  A:  Fundamentally, it is the way that we think about a
situation rather than the situation itself, that causes stress.

Q:  What is a stress ‘carrier’?   A:  People who exhibit stress-producing behaviour but are  unaware of the impact of their conduct upon others.

Q:  What are some of the physical reactions to stress?  A:   Dry mouth, anxiety, rapid breathing, moist palms.

Q:  What are some of the symptoms of prolonged stress?  A: Sleep problems, headaches, anger, indigestion. Continue reading →

Stress Relief: Wear a smile every day…

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According to the lyrics of a popular song, when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you, and as I listen to the words being sung on a YouTube video clip, it really brings a smile to my face. However, it also goes on to say “cry and you cry alone!” And that, I’m afraid, is also a truism.

A smile can be a great energy booster both for the giver and the receiver, so why don’t we all smile more often? You may say that you don’t always feel like smiling or that you’re not in the mood, and that may well be the case but just think of the effect of your mood has on those with whom you meet, your spouse, your colleague or your child. Continue reading →

How to Deal With Stress: To Err is Human, to Forgive Divine…

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We do not always behave or conduct ourselves as we should and
there are certain times when we wish we had not spoken, or acted, as we
did.   Sometimes, we have to accept that our relationship with someone has been broken. However, later there often comes a time when we might wish to try to make amends.  But what happens when the other person says it is too late or that they are no longer interested? Continue reading →

Be stress free and start your own business or not?

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Last week’s blog on retirement brought in many comments with people writing to tell me that they were thinking of starting their own small business.

In 1987, I established my stress management and counselling consultancy – and for me it was the right decision.   However, being one’s own boss requires a specific mindset plus a commitment that is different from working for someone else within a corporate environment.

What it takes to start

Before embarking on a self-employed career, you need to give consideration as to whether you are really suited to what will initially be a 24 hour job.  A majority of people would rather work alongside others rather than being an entrepreneur, working all hours and having to make all the decisions.  Going ‘solo’ is not right for everyone and it is important that you find out at the early stage before you put time, effort and finance into your new career. Continue reading →

Learn How to Manage Your Anger

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How many times do you feel angry but don’t know why?  How often do
you become aggressive and say things you don’t really mean, and then feel upset and guilty afterwards?  Similar events happen to most of us, at some time, and we fail to understand the reasons.

Very often, the answer has to do with excessive pressure that has caused you stress, which has turned to anger as you realise that you appear to have lost control of the situation. Then you take that anger and frustration out on others around you.  Sometimes that may be your family, or if at
work, your colleagues

Low self-esteem, in addition to stress, can also be at the heart of an angry outburst.  You may not identify this factor and it is only when you start to suffer the consequences of that low self-worth that you may start take a close look at the root cause within yourself. Continue reading →

International Women’s Day: Celebrating Women’s Power

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Today, is International Women’s Day, and in looking at their website, it is interesting to see so many international events taking place, ranging from large, national conferences to small informal ‘get-togethers’.  However, the message is the same which in the words of Jude Kelly, Artistic Director is: “To celebrate the formidable power of women to make change happen, to remind us of our history, to draw attention to injustice and to enjoy each other’s company as we set out to achieve a fairer world”.

Tales from South Africa

This made me think about all the special women that I have met over the past year.  I visit South Africa at least once a year and there I work with women who are budding entrepreneurs.  These are women who have not usually received a formal education, but still want to create and grow their own businesses so that they can send their children to school, so that they can be independent and not have to sit on street corners, begging for money.  I have met women who are so completely focused in their endeavours that it puts many of us to shame.  They have a strength and determination of which many of us can only dream.  They have
no cars or large houses but their township homes in which I stay are spotlessly clean and tidy and I can only stand back in amazement at their resilience and fortitude.  Many of these women are single and don’t have the support of a man in the home and yet they survive in bringing up their children.  However, what they do lack are the marketing skills to promote their small businesses and this is what I offer to them through my 1:1 coaching programmes.  Some of the skills are specific such as helping them to write their own business cards and business plans, but other skills are those that come from encouragement and motivation. Continue reading →

Can Celebrities Live a Stress Free Life?

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Being a well-known celebrity, famous politician or business man/woman may be exciting but it also brings with it a whole exclusive set of stressors. Imagine having the media camped outside your door on a daily basis and not being able to go to the supermarket to shop. Being shown to your chauffeur driven car on a 24/7 basis may seem like a great deal but how nice it is to just get in your car and drive off yourself for the weekend, by slipping quietly away with your family.

So how do the rich and famous cope with their celebrity status? Some actually cope remarkably well. Royal families grow-up with privilege and are taught how to handle it from an early age but the modern-day celebrity pop-star or champion golfer is often thrown into the limelight with little or no warning. Initially hungry for the publicity, they thrive on it but after a while there is undoubtedly a longing for the privacy that anonymity brings. Constantly having to smile, sign autographs and be at your best, can be extremely tiring and often tedious, which is why we see the rich and famous often disappear behind dark shades! Continue reading →

Be Stress Free and Enjoy the Community Spirit

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Here in London, we have just experienced our first fall of snow this winter.  It arrived with a vengeance, severely affecting airports and roads.  The day
after, I went outside into the front garden to clear the path from snow and
within half an hour, I had spoken to many of my neighbours all clearing the
snow, like me, many of whom I rarely spoke to from one month to the next.  There we were, all sharing in a joint activity, offering cups of tea and coffee to each other.  Overnight, we had become a community again because we had a common interest.  None of us could get our cars out the driveway, and we were fighting against the weather to try to clear the driveways before the ice arrived overnight. Continue reading →